#Clean jokes full#
#Clean jokes crack#

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees! I tried to sure the airport for misplacing my luggage. Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory. What did one plate say to his friend? Tonight, dinner’s on me! What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison! It’s cleaning day so naturally, I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through. Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge? What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard! You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out! Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

#Clean jokes full#

I hate Russian dolls… they’re so full of themselves! Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. How do you throw a space party? You planet! How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it! What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food! What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper! What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I’m changing! Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care. Let funny nicknames will bring joy and help you show how much they mean to you. You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people! Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man! They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired. What did the left eye say to the right eye? One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?” What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.Įxaggerations went up by a million percent last year. What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. By seeking out more opportunities for humor and laughter, though, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness-and even add years to your life. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. Gulshan Sethi, head of cardiothoracic surgery at the Tucson Medical Center and faculty at the University of Arizona’s Center for Integrative Medicine. It’s like internal jogging, providing a good massage to all internal organs while also toning abdominal muscles,” says Dr. But did you know it can actually improve your health? “ Laughter activates the body’s natural relaxation response. Some might sound stupid and lame but within, you find the humour that you need.

#Clean jokes crack#

Dirty, clean and short jokes that will crack you up. That is exactly the kind of jokes that we have for you. Here the funniest “smart” jokes I think you enjoy.įunny short jokes make you laugh out loud, most times uncontrollably.